7/365 - About marriage and some men in power

16th of August 2009 - one day to go to

say goodbye to my loved one knowing we will be seeing each other soon, even if I did not know exactly when.

Goodbyes suck and I am not going to go into that! We all had to say goodbye, sometimes forever and it will never get easier.

I met this man when I was 20 years, happy to finally be alone and wanting to keep it like that, but he had other plans and I am as smitten with him as ever. He has never felt like he had to make me look small so that he could feel strong. He has always been ahead of the trend - always supported women, pointed out unfair treatment and I could not appreciate his support and respect more. I love you, dude!

I remember going to the interview for the banking job a few months before my wedding. The person who interviewed me at one point was a top level executive. We spoke briefly about my nonexistent experience in banking and about the fact that I was close to finishing my bachelor’s degree. That did not last long, suddenly I found myself being asked some very personal questions:

Him: “Are you in a relationship?”

Me: “Yes, I am due to get married in a few months!”

Him: “Oh, that’s not good! You know, marriage is like a river that keeps digging into the river bed, and it keeps digging and digging… What does he do?”

Me: “He is a personal trainer.”

Him: “Aaaa ok, you went for the body instead of the brain.”

That caught me off guard and it definitely fuelled a lot of resentment towards him. Now, in 2022, I know it still happens and if it will happen to my daughter, I want her to have the courage to call it out!

I did get the job, because I came with the best recommendation from a very dear person, but I did retort, with every single opportunity from that moment on.

During a team building dinner he made the statement that his home town fostered the oldest school in Romania. Funny enough, I had just read something in the days before about that topic and dared to contradict him, at a table with about 20 people.

What can I say? Today I would at least think twice, but at 23 it is all about instant gratification so, I did not let it slip!

Next day, he sent an email to all the branches in the country, talking about the school in his home town.

You see, nothing new here, just a man in a position of power that can not live with the idea that Little Miss Nobody can talk back even if she is risking losing her job.

It will take an army of women and several generations to eliminate this sort of behaviour.

I keep getting asked what made me embark on this posting challenge and there are so many reasons behind this, it is not just building my #storybrand, unveiling the human behind the coach or the added benefit from self analysis and introspection, it is bigger than that.

Some stories are hard for my kids to understand now and although a possibility, it would be an arrogance to assume that I will get to grow old. To grow old is a privilege, I hope I will, but I have lived enough to know that nothing is forever or guaranteed, we are all transitioning here.

Nonetheless, I hope to finish this 365 posts challenge, print it in a book and give it to my kids. I would look them in the eyes and say: “Take this and give it to your therapist when you need it!”.

Be brave, be strong and if you are going through anything like that or have anything to share, I am here ready to offer you a hug and a smashing workout!

You got this!