37/365

Eliza and Ian, Paris 2015

April 2015

When Ian was around 18 months we decided it is time for him to go to nursery.

We found one that seemed to tick all the boxes, but I would leave him in tears and would pick him up in tears. There was no staff consistency so, he just didn’t get attached to anyone, plus on multiple occasions he wasn’t changed properly. I was torn…

We tried for a couple of months to push him to adjust, but it wasn’t going anywhere. Every day I would leave him crying and as soon as I would leave the building, I was crying too.

His sister came to his rescue, because as soon as we knew we were pregnant and that I was going to be at home with a second child, we knew spending money on childcare would have been a bad move.

We always wanted to have two, but the memory of the 26 hours of labour and the birth were still painfully raw. The pregnancy was a surprise!

My first reaction to being pregnant was: “How could I be so stupid? I know how children are made!”.

There are many things that I said in my life that I would take back, but this is not necessarily one of them because I wasn’t being myself. I was breastfeeding, I was scared and I was tired. I was also concerned about how Silviu would react, because he was exhausted too.

Ian had a very bad sleeping pattern and we were struggling.

Silviu’s reaction was very kind: “Don’t say that, you will laugh about this later! It will all be ok! This is a good thing!”

And just like that it was going to be four of us. And yes! What I said that day makes me laugh, because once a child arrives you cannot even remember how life was before.