23/365 - Toxic friendships
The year of 2011 found us with a tight circle of friends. We would visit each other frequently or go out to eat.
It was all fun until one of them gave me hints that she did not like me. She was tolerating me because I was good friends with the others.
Am I really writing about these sort of things? Hell, yeah! Toxic friendships are not uncommon and I am hopeful my kids will read these posts one day.
Kids, there will be people that do not like you, what are you going to do about it?
If you live in your own “Everybody loves Raymond” sitcom, then maybe it does not help you.
The hints and teasing were getting ridiculous at one point, but I was either finding her excuses or telling myself that I am just imagining things. I had to put an end to it. I cannot say it was easy to get over it, I had let it go on for far too long.
I do not have too many memories of my grandma, she left us very young, at age 60. #fuckbreastcancer I am grateful because I still remember her voice although it has been almost 24 years… and plants! She always smelled like medicinal plants! My memories of her are not the happiest - I spent time taking care of her during her last days and have a hard time remembering her before she got sick.
One thing she would say to me over and over again from a very young age: “Be careful when you choose your friends and make sure they are smarter than you!”.
Look, I am not saying that my friend was a bad person, but I must have mentioned it before - I do not get kicks from psychological games. Straightforward, kind and honest are more of my approach. Hints are draining and an offence to one’s intelligence and if there is no respect what are we doing here in the first place?
Protect your energy, it is not infinite! They can do better things with their time and so can you!
Have the strength to part ways! The perspective I take is - a short time of pain vs a long time of uncertainty and malaise.
Friendships are not always easy, but they are all about open communication. A true friend will support you and will also give you the ugly truth. But at the end of the day you will feel like they love you and want the best for you.
And seriously, cut it with the Raymond stuff!
You got this!
