Day 2/365 - How well did I speak English before coming?

11th August, 2009

The day when I would leave my whole life behind was approaching and I wasn’t very worried about my English skills. I had under my belt about 30 hours of College English and a few more thousand hours of Cartoon Network and movies with Romanian subtitles. What could go wrong?

For start, growing up I never imagined that I would have to say in ten sentences what I could say in one. This idea sums up exactly how I still feel when I get any sort of English written correspondence. Also, playing with words seems to be highly used when you are condescending, but trying to look professional.

Looking back I can mention a few things that could go wrong when you learn English from watching ‘Seinfeld’ and the likes. Before everything, I just want to say this is not a post about an emigrant’s life, I am not unique by any means and London is nothing if it’s not a city that opens itself to everyone from everywhere.

Have you had the feeling that you are out of place, ridiculous, intimidated, judged, like everything that you say is wrong, like you never get the upper hand?

But you kept on trying?

I had the feeling that I didn’t belong here for the better part of a decade. And guess what? Languages evolve constantly so, I got to experience the same feeling when I was visiting my home country, like a very smart person once said “it’s like you’re being stupid in two different languages”.

So, I tried again and again!

I became so obsessed with learning English that I’ve never been able to shake the feeling that I will only amount to mediocrity. As much as I keep coming back to my texts and see the mistakes, I understand now that it’s pointless to correct them. My fear of making mistakes has been the biggest anchor in my procrastination.

As I write this I am thinking that an amazing punchline is maybe expected, but the reality is… perseverance and patience are not exciting! They are boring and painful!

Progressive loading in training can be boring, technical elements can be boring, working out on a Friday evening can be boring! But when you deadlift the first time your body weight it’s nothing short of a spectacle of power and confidence!

Now imagine that you have the power to silence all negative thoughts a little bit each day…. Can you see it? Then, try again!

You got this!